Watching “Ainda Estou Aqui” Through Foreign Eyes: A Film that Revives Brazil’s Painful History
- Sakura Yoshino
- Mar 19
- 4 min read
The film “Ainda Estou Aqui,” directed by Walter Salles and released in 2024, has sparked significant discussions about Brazil’s military dictatorship during the 1970s. The film tells the story of Eunice Paiva, played by Fernanda Torres, as she confronts the disappearance of her husband, Rubens Paiva, during the years of repression. Based on the memoirs of their son, Marcelo Rubens Paiva, the film highlights Eunice’s persistent pursuit of justice and the truth.
Rubens Paiva
To give some context, Rubens Beyrodt Paiva was a civil engineer and politician who was murdered during the military dictatorship; he was kidnapped by agents of the military regime in 1971 and tortured to death at the former Army Intelligence Agency (DOI-Codi) in Tijuca, a neighborhood in northern Rio de Janeiro. His body was reportedly buried and dug up several times by the repressive authorities, and finally thrown into the sea off the coast of Rio de Janeiro. His widow, Eunice Paiva, fought for years to have the state take responsibility for his death.
Ruben’s death was finally confirmed by the National Truth Commission (CNV), which was established in 2012, during the PT Dilma Rousseff administration to investigate human rights violations during the military dictatorship. This confirmation came about 40 years after Paiva’s disappearance. However, many of those responsible for the crimes of the dictatorship still enjoy impunity, which keeps the debate alive about the amnesty granted to tortures and military officials right after the dictatorship ended. Attorney Rodrigo Roca, who is representing the defendants, accused of torturing and killing Paiva, argues that actions during the military regime targeting a specific group do not constitute humanitarian violations. Under these circumstances, the investigation was reopened last April by Supreme Court Justice Moraes; however, three of the five accused are already deceased. The film critically examines these issues, raising questions about how a country can move forward while still carrying the ghosts of its past.
The film has received a lot of praise, especially for Fernanda Torres’ performance, which earned her the Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Drama in 2025. “Ainda Estou Aqui” premiered at the 2024 Venice Film Festival, marking the 60th anniversary of the 1964 military coup. Since then, the film has been praised for its sensitive and profound portrayal of the trauma left by the dictatorship.
For many foreign viewers, “Ainda Estou Aqui” provides a glimpse into Brazil’s unsolved past. As a foreigner myself with no relatives born in Brazil, the film was an eye-opening opportunity to deepen my understanding of Brazilian culture and its history. During the end credits, I found myself asking my Portuguese teacher why no one had been sentenced for the crimes committed during the dictatorship. While talking with her about this topic, an old lady who lived through the beginning to the end of the dictatorship, interrupted our conversation and started to share her personal experience and perspective on its lasting impact on Brazilian society. She reflected on how, since no military officials were ever held accountable for their actions, Brazil is as it is today, avoiding direct confrontation, leading to various problems being piled up. She pointed out that the culture of impunity established back then remains today, especially in cases of police violence and corruption. Institutions that were shaped during the dictatorship continue to struggle with transparency, and many powerful figures still escape consequences for their actions. Listening to her insights, one question came to my mind: Could the resilience and positivity often associated with Brazilian people be, in part, a response to the nation’s painful past? The warmth, inclusivity, and lighthearted nature often attributed to Brazilians might not simply be cultural traits but a survival mechanism—a way of coping with a past filled with unhealed wounds. It made me wonder how much history explains the way people interact, the way justice is pursued, and the way silence often replaces responsibility in today’s society.
Beyond recounting historical events, “Ainda Estou Aqui” invites audiences—both Brazilian and International—to reflect on the role of art and culture in preserving historical memory. The film serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of historical memory, preventing the country from forgetting the pain of the past and the lessons that need to be learned. For foreign viewers unfamiliar with Brazilian history, the movie sheds light on the long-lasting emotional and social scars that continue to shape the nation’s identity today. If you haven’t had an opportunity to watch the film, make sure to do so—it will exceed your expectations and linger in your mind, reshaping your perception of the present.
Works Cited
Guedes, Jason. “Ainda Estou Aqui: Reflexões sobre a Ditadura Militar no Brasil.” Historia Estudio, 6 Jan. 2025.
“作品が描く暗殺事件が未解決な理由＝ブラジル映画『Ainda estou aqui（私はまだここにいる）』歴史的快挙の裏側で.” Diario Brasil Nippou, 8 Jan. 2025.
“Ainda Estou Aqui: tudo o que você precisa saber sobre o filme que acaba de chegar aos cinemas.” gshow, 7 Nov. 2024.
Previdelli, Fabio. “Ainda Estou Aqui: 5 coisas para saber antes de assistir ao filme.” Aventuras na Historia, 19 Nov. 2024.
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